Occasionally in our daily lives it isn’t really always simple to support all things that are important, after all there’s just so much energy and time in the day and many of us currently have a lot of commitments. Sometimes simply managing our work, keeping a roof over our heads, food on the table and tucking the kids in seems to be all we can muster before we collapse into bed ourselves. So how do we expand our abilities to cover all those additional things we ‘d like to contribute to but frequently end up in the too hard basket or the one day I’m going to…

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Something we can do is take a look at how we empower or dis-empower ourselves. All the time everyday we’re reacting to things going on around us, in some cases with awareness but typically simply out of routine. And one thing I’ve found is you can tell by the way you feel whether you are reacting with a negative point of view or a favorable one. If you are feeling great, positive or also feeling bad, or negative. I understand this seems deceptively basic but that’s its power. You may be amazed the difference that simply having this awareness can make to your capacity to fulfill what is crucial to you.
I’ll give you an example; I’ve wanted to get “around to” gardening and growing a permaculture garden. I have actually known this is something that would support lots of commitments and values I have but I have actually discovered that I’ve talked about myself as someone who isn’t a garden enthusiast and has black thumbs (as opposed to green thumbs)! Plus I’m simply renting, and I’m too hectic, don’t know what I’m doing, don’t have cash … and on and on it goes. And all that feels yuk! It’s not what I want! It’s all standing for restriction and incapability! As well as though I have actually automatically and repeatedly held these points of view for a long time, no matter how many times I have actually repeated them they never feel any better. If anything they have the tendency to feel even worse gradually. So here is the beauty of this little distinction. By discovering increasingly more in my daily life how I’m feeling and looking at the story I’m telling I can tell a more empowering story and when I’m feeling more empowered I’m more likely to take favorable action. I have actually started gardening and I’m really enjoying it, I’m delighting in learning and I’m telling myself an empowering story now like “it’s ok if some plants do not live since what’s important is that I develop my confidence and find out from experience” (and incidentally up until now absolutely nothing has actually died).
A whole world of opportunity has actually opened and it thrills me and what thrills me the most, even more than the sight of little green natural shapes, is the feeling that I’m growing in the direction that I want and I’ve stopped getting in my own way! Hooray!
Now of course we’re all wired differently. I do not expect there to be lots of people reading this blog who have actually been stopping themselves from gardening. In sharing an example from my own life, my intention is for you to translate it to some aspect that is very important to you, where perhaps you have actually been arguing for restriction instead of for what you really want.
Now the story you’ve been telling will be different to the one I’ve shared and here’s where the benefit of noticing your feelings exposes itself. You’re not trying to find a particular sort of story, you’re on the watch for a bad sensation and when you observe this feeling your task is to then observe exactly what the story is right now that you’re saying, right now. Then you can notice as you have fun with the story and try telling somewhat more empowering variations of it, how they feel a little different.
Please note: do not go for the polar opposite “I can do anything story”, that does not work. If you’ve been telling yourself an unfavorable story for a while, the mind will just reject a positive variation “Yeah right! That’s B.S!” and you will not feel better, you’ll just feel inauthentic, like a fraud. You don’t have to turn over a brand-new leaf, simply soften the old one a little. If the new story feels a little better then you’re on the right track. Keep going, see if you can soften it a little bit more.
Now if you find that in your story instead of it being some negative opinion of yourself negating your personal power, you discover in your story that it’s somebody else that you’re using as your reason for not having what you desire. Play with it. Although it may look like it’s out of your control, the power to change things or keep them as they are, is over there with them. But that’s a fallacy, it’s still you. It’s your mind and you have the power to change it.
“But I have a great deal of evidence for my point of view, why would I wish to alter them?” Well, if you could have your opinions or what you want in life, which would you choose? “But it’s not an opinion it’s the truth” that’s the funny thing opinions we’ve been telling ourselves for a very long time appear indistinguishable from the truth.
There’s a funny thing our brains do when we believe something to be true, in some way and I’m not sure precisely how it does this, however it manages to filter out proof to the contrary. Our brains are exposed to millions of little bits of information all coming at it and one of the things we find out as children is ways to concentrate in on exactly what’s “crucial” and overlook a lot of unimportant “Noise.” So if we’ve trained our minds to concentrate on an unfavorable perspective since we believe it holds true we will certainly collect evidence for this reality. And our minds and habits end up being ’embedded in their ways’. Even if those ways do not fulfill or please us. So the question is not “is it true?” the concern is “Are we going to soften our views if there’s a chance that doing this could allow us to develop a life that’s more deeply rewarding and more authentically our own expression?”. As somebody once stated “whether you believe you can or believe you cannot, you’re right”.